Post by Beeth on Dec 21, 2012 11:54:35 GMT
Reporting some very sad news today, as Mr Norman Oldfash, grumpy old man, professional technophobe and one-time reader of Sonic The Comic, has died aged 93.
Born and raised in his hometown of Basingstoke, Oldfash grew up in a family with staunch Victorian values. As such he grew to dislike anything percieved as "modern" technology from an early age. He and his family didn't even so much as listen to the radio, and were outspoken critics of the BBC, claiming them to be "the first pioneers of an age of disarray and anarchy", and radically referring to the birth of television as "patent buggery by Satan".
In 1939, Oldfash went on to serve proudly in the Army throughout the Second World War, and became observed as something of a hero among his regiment due to his novel lo-tech solutions. He was a chef.
After completing his service for Queen and country, he went on to become a writer for The Daily Circular as a critic, criticising pretty much everything that was made after the 1920s, a colour other than beige, or made for children's entertainment. His upbringing set deeply, his almost blanket refusal to get with the times became somewhat famous among his friends and colleagues. He continued to write his column until the newspaper folded in 1970.
Nevertheless, Norman Oldfash did have his hobbies. He was passionate about antiquities, studying and searching for a wide variety of rare, artistic and historical crafts dating through various centuries. He was also a very keen traveller, often traversing the country and beyond by bicycle and boat. Naturally, he never owned a car or travelled by bus; as far as he was concerned motor vehicles were "death traps" and "hurtling ovens".
Mr Oldfash finally got his first radio in 1984. He recieved it as a birthday present from his first wife. Suffice to say he never even opened the box, and the device is now thought to be worth tens of thousands of pounds to technology enthusiasts across the globe.
While Oldfash continued to write for various publications over the years, always handwritten and submitted by post, he is perhaps best known in the children's comics community for his puzzling letter to the first edition of Fleetway's "Sonic the Comic", in which he mistakenly believed the publication to be "another computer magazine" based on Sega's official involvement in the publication. It was later discoverd that he had not actually read the publication in question, and that he wrote the letter based on a cursory glance at the front cover in his local newsagent's. Upon discovering his letter had in fact been printed in the magazine, Oldfash reacted with shock and surprise, and said of Megadroid's response "I don't even LIKE fly fishing! It's mind-numbing! Has the world gone bloody mad?"
Incredibly, after retiring as a full-time writer, Mr Oldfash would begin to mellow out quite considerably in his later years. While still largely disagreeing with new technology he felt it a necessary evil to continue to communicate his message to the rest of the world. He had electrical sockets installed in his home at the end of the 20th century. He bought his first television set in 2000, albeit stopping short of using teletext lest it burn the eyes from his face. He found several kitchen appliances made his life significantly easier, appreciating his washing machine in particular as it meant never having to hand-wash his long johns again, and having his mind blown at the genius of the electric kettle. He was extremely suspicious of the microwave however; he got rid of it after its first use in which he attempted to heat on unopened tin of beans and caused an electrical fire.
Oldfash would finally take an unprecedented step in 2005, and purchase a computer. It would take him four solid years to obtain a rudimentary grasp on the technology but eventually, he began using the Internet in 2009, starting up a blog about the evils and pitfalls of modern technology as per his own experiences over the past decade. Citing his computer practice he also bemoaned how unnecessarily complicated technology had become, and called for simpler functions and greater accessibility for the older generation, namely by including just three buttons: "on", "off", and "work, you bloody thing". He also very briefly joined Facebook as a means of getting back in touch with his old friends and work colleagues, but swiftly deactivated his account upon realising, ironically, he was the only one of them to have joined a social networking site.
Norman Oldfash would continue to write occassionally all the way to the end. He passed away earlier this morning, December 21st 2012. Cause of death was the apocalypse. Turns out he was the only victim, and it was a much smaller phenomenon than first anticipated.
He is survived by his wife Edith, 23, and his son Bruce, also 23.
NORMAN OLDFASH
1919-2012
Born and raised in his hometown of Basingstoke, Oldfash grew up in a family with staunch Victorian values. As such he grew to dislike anything percieved as "modern" technology from an early age. He and his family didn't even so much as listen to the radio, and were outspoken critics of the BBC, claiming them to be "the first pioneers of an age of disarray and anarchy", and radically referring to the birth of television as "patent buggery by Satan".
In 1939, Oldfash went on to serve proudly in the Army throughout the Second World War, and became observed as something of a hero among his regiment due to his novel lo-tech solutions. He was a chef.
After completing his service for Queen and country, he went on to become a writer for The Daily Circular as a critic, criticising pretty much everything that was made after the 1920s, a colour other than beige, or made for children's entertainment. His upbringing set deeply, his almost blanket refusal to get with the times became somewhat famous among his friends and colleagues. He continued to write his column until the newspaper folded in 1970.
Nevertheless, Norman Oldfash did have his hobbies. He was passionate about antiquities, studying and searching for a wide variety of rare, artistic and historical crafts dating through various centuries. He was also a very keen traveller, often traversing the country and beyond by bicycle and boat. Naturally, he never owned a car or travelled by bus; as far as he was concerned motor vehicles were "death traps" and "hurtling ovens".
Mr Oldfash finally got his first radio in 1984. He recieved it as a birthday present from his first wife. Suffice to say he never even opened the box, and the device is now thought to be worth tens of thousands of pounds to technology enthusiasts across the globe.
While Oldfash continued to write for various publications over the years, always handwritten and submitted by post, he is perhaps best known in the children's comics community for his puzzling letter to the first edition of Fleetway's "Sonic the Comic", in which he mistakenly believed the publication to be "another computer magazine" based on Sega's official involvement in the publication. It was later discoverd that he had not actually read the publication in question, and that he wrote the letter based on a cursory glance at the front cover in his local newsagent's. Upon discovering his letter had in fact been printed in the magazine, Oldfash reacted with shock and surprise, and said of Megadroid's response "I don't even LIKE fly fishing! It's mind-numbing! Has the world gone bloody mad?"
Incredibly, after retiring as a full-time writer, Mr Oldfash would begin to mellow out quite considerably in his later years. While still largely disagreeing with new technology he felt it a necessary evil to continue to communicate his message to the rest of the world. He had electrical sockets installed in his home at the end of the 20th century. He bought his first television set in 2000, albeit stopping short of using teletext lest it burn the eyes from his face. He found several kitchen appliances made his life significantly easier, appreciating his washing machine in particular as it meant never having to hand-wash his long johns again, and having his mind blown at the genius of the electric kettle. He was extremely suspicious of the microwave however; he got rid of it after its first use in which he attempted to heat on unopened tin of beans and caused an electrical fire.
Oldfash would finally take an unprecedented step in 2005, and purchase a computer. It would take him four solid years to obtain a rudimentary grasp on the technology but eventually, he began using the Internet in 2009, starting up a blog about the evils and pitfalls of modern technology as per his own experiences over the past decade. Citing his computer practice he also bemoaned how unnecessarily complicated technology had become, and called for simpler functions and greater accessibility for the older generation, namely by including just three buttons: "on", "off", and "work, you bloody thing". He also very briefly joined Facebook as a means of getting back in touch with his old friends and work colleagues, but swiftly deactivated his account upon realising, ironically, he was the only one of them to have joined a social networking site.
Norman Oldfash would continue to write occassionally all the way to the end. He passed away earlier this morning, December 21st 2012. Cause of death was the apocalypse. Turns out he was the only victim, and it was a much smaller phenomenon than first anticipated.
He is survived by his wife Edith, 23, and his son Bruce, also 23.
NORMAN OLDFASH
1919-2012
