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Post by Devo DrakeFox on May 7, 2011 13:53:28 GMT
Rainbow: Now, what have we learned? Fluttershy: Loss of control. Rainbow: Good. Fluttershy: Screaming and hollering. Rainbow: Yes. And most importantly? Fluttershy: Passion. Rainbow: Right! So now that you know the elements of a good cheer, let's hear one. Fluttershy: Yay. Rainbow: *facehoofs* You're gonna cheer for me like that? Louder. Fluttershy: Yay. Rainbow: Louder! Fluttershy: Yay. Rainbow: LOUDEEERRR!! DX Fluttershy: *inhales sharply* ...Yaaay. Rainbow: Ugh... *falls over* Fluttershy: Too loud? Rarity: Somebody needs to learn proper nail care! When was the last time you two had a manicure? You're scratching up my fur with those dirty things! Dog #1: Please, BE QUIET! Rarity: Phew, heavens! What is that smell? Dog #1: ~Smell?~Rarity: Ah, mystery solved. it's your breath. Dog #1: ENOUGH!! Pull the cart, pony! Rarity: Well, if you insist! But I must say, the working conditions in here are simply dreadful. So musty and damp, it's going to wreak havoc on my mane. And the air's so stifling, it's suffocating! When I try to take a deep breath, the stench of all you dogs makes me nauseous! You look and smell like you haven't bathed in weeks! Have you never heard of soap? You could all do with a good round of soap and water! Oh, water, I'm so terribly thirsty. Can I please have some water? Dog #3: Oh good gracious, I can't take it any more! BE QUIET, PONY! Rarity: And that's another thing: I'd appreciate if you stopped calling me "Pony". I am a lady and I wish to be addressed as such, so you may call me "Miss" or "Rarity". Or "Miss Rarity". Dog #1: ENOUGH! You're whining, it hurts! Rarity: Whining!? I am not whining, I am complaining. Do you want to hear whining? Thiiis is whiiiining! Oh, this harness is too tiiight! Can't you loosen it? Owww, it hurts and it's so RUSTY! Why didn't you clean it first, it's gonna leave a STAAAIIN! And this wagon is too heavy, WHY DO I HAVE TO PULL IIIIT!?!Dog #3: AGGHH! Make it stop! Dog #1: STOP WHINING!! Rarity: But I thought you waaanted whining?Rarity: Owww, it's too TIIIGHT!Dog #1: Ha! Make the noises all you want, but work while you make them! *slaps Rarity's ass* Hurry up, mule! Rarity: Did you... just call me a... MULE!? Dog #1: Uhh... Rarity: Mules are ugly! Are you saying I too am ugly? WAAAAAAHAHAHAAAHH!!Dog #3: What are these noises? Rarity: HE CALLED ME UUUGLY!!! DXDog #1: No! Mule! I said 'Mule'! Rarity: AN OLD, UGLY MULE! AND IT'S TRUE! Just look at me! I used to be beautiful, but... WAAAAAAAAAH!! DXDog #2: No! You're still beautiful, po- uh, I mean, Miss Rarity! Rarity: You're just saying thaaat! Dog #3: No! You're pretty and, and- Dog #1: Oh yes, and nice! Rarity: I don't believe you! You never liked me! DX
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Post by ShayMay on May 7, 2011 14:05:08 GMT
Dog #1: Ha! Make the noises all you want, but work while you make them! *slaps Rarity's ass*
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Post by Calisto on May 7, 2011 15:21:14 GMT
I've gotta say Devo, the rate you're going, you'll have finished writing out the entire series soon. What's the point?
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Post by Blizz on May 7, 2011 15:23:24 GMT
We get it, you like My Little Pony....
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Post by Devo DrakeFox on May 7, 2011 16:07:23 GMT
I've gotta say Devo, the rate you're going, you'll have finished writing out the entire series soon. What's the point? Extreme boredom, mostly. And now for something completely different. "Okay, think of what little patience I have as... oh, I don't know... your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends... well, he dropped by, and he brought a copy of "About Last Night" and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and woo hoo hoo, it was gone forever - just like my patience is now." - Dr. Cox, Scrubs
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Post by Blizz on May 7, 2011 22:14:20 GMT
Sam: "By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo; the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end... because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was, when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going... because they were holding on to something." Frodo: "What are we holding on to, Sam?" Sam: "That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for."
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Post by MentalAnalysis on May 8, 2011 0:13:50 GMT
"Time spent on something you enjoy is not time wasted"- I forget who said that... I was from a portfolio I was looking at this week.
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Post by Beeth on May 9, 2011 9:57:41 GMT
"...brie, everywhere..."
Fearne Cotton, Radio 1, 9/5/11 10:55
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Post by Devo DrakeFox on May 9, 2011 13:21:32 GMT
Chibitalia
Once upon a time, in a house called the Roman Empire...
Italy: It's next to my big brother France's house! ^_^
...the newborn Italy lived with various other countries. But one day, Italy's grandfather came and took him away and forced him to leave his home and friends. For a while, Italy spent his time drawing and singing with his unusually handsome grandfather. Italy had a natural affinity for artistic pursuits and his grandfather was delighted.
Italy: It's fun to draw pictures! Somehow I feel so Renaissance! I want to show my beautiful drawings to my big brothers France and the Roman Empire, and that other big brother who's name I don't know because I haven't met yet. I can't wait to see everyone! ^_^
Unfortunately, when he met them again...
Holy Roman Empire: You must become a part of the Roman Empire! Veneziano: You're a twerp compared to me.
...they had all become [censored].
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Post by Zerolus on May 14, 2011 0:14:35 GMT
Loghain: "Will you face me yourself or have you a champion?" The Warden: "My mabari hound will be my champion!" Dog: *Barks* Eamon: "Ahh... Warden, no. We cannot leave the fate of Ferelden all up to your dog. Anyone with a leftover hambone could buy his allegiance. Choose someone else."
Loghain: "I passed your test. Fate has a twisted sense of humor, it seems. I suppose you think I'm some sort of monster; you keep striking at me, and I just refuse to die decently." The Warden: "I don't think you're a monster." Loghain: "You're a terrible liar, you know. But it's kind of you to say so, all the same. I think it's time we get down to business here: What do you want from me?" The Warden: "We're going to have to work together, here." Loghain: "And just like that we're allies now? I can't imagine it's so simple. I don't know what concession you want from me, Warden. I expect my word will not satisfy you?" The Warden: "You're a Grey Warden now too, you know." Loghain: "Indeed, I'd almost forgotten that. Thank you for the reminder. I think it's time we get to the point here: What do you want from me? I can't imagine you spared my life by accident, you must have something planned in mind." The Warden: "You tell me: What do you want? Loghain: "What do I want...? What an odd question. I want to ride back to Denerim and sit in the war room and find no empty chairs at the table. I want to lose nothing else. I want a line, clearly drawn, that I can defend. I want an end to this war. All of this can be rightly called my fault. Wether or not you can do better remains to be seen. But if you can make it end, Warden, I will follow you. I swear it."
The Warden: "What was Anora like as a child?" Loghain: "As far as anyone was concerned, she was the undisputed monarch of the world. She'd fall over, skin her knees and then command them to stop stinging. It might have worked, too." The Warden: "She sounds like a terror."
Zevran: "Let's see... I believe on my second mission for the Crows I had been hired to kill a mage who had been meddling in politics." The Warden: "Meddling in politics how?" Zevran: "How should I know? I got the impression it had something to do with sex, but then again I tend to get that impression with everything. Odd, really."
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Post by Blizz on May 22, 2011 13:45:12 GMT
Susan: "I need your help, Mr Ridcully." Ridcully: "You.... Aren't you Death's granddaughter? Didn't I meet you a few-" Susan: "Yes." Ridcully: "And....are you helping out?" Susan: "I need you to wake him up." Senior Wrangler: "Some sort of miracle,you mean?" Susan: "He's not dead." Senior Wrangler: "That's what they all say." Ridcully: "Looks a bit under the weather." Susan: "He's the God of Hangovers. The Oh God of Hangovers." Ridcully: "Really? Never had one of those myself. Funny thing, I can drink all night and feel as fresh as a daisy in the morning." Oh God of Hangovers: *starts hitting Ridcully* "You utter, utter [censored]! I hate you hate you hate you hate you-" *collapses* Ridcully: "What was that all about?" Susan: "I think it was some kind of nervous reaction. Something nasty's happening tonight. I'm hoping he can tell me what it is. But he's got to be able to think straight first." Ridcully: "And you brought him here?"
Gawain: "Do the Voice on it! Do the Voice on it!" Bogeyman: "Don't do the Voice, don't do the Voice!" Gawain: "Hit it on the head with the poker!" Bogeyman: "Not the poker! Not the poker!" Susan: "It's you, isn't it? From this afternoon......" Gawain: "Aren't you going to poke it with the poker?" Bogeyman: "Not the poker!" Susan: "New in town?" Bogeyman: "Yes. Here, how come you can see me?" Susan: "Then this is a friendly warning, understand? Because it's Hogswatch." Bogeyman: "You call this friendly?" Susan: "Ah, you want to try for unfriendly?" Bogeyman: "No, no, no, I like friendly!" Susan: "This house is out of bounds, right?" Bogeyman: "You a witch or something?" Susan: "I'm just.....something. Now....you won't be around here again, will you? Otherwise it'll be the blanket next time." Bogeyman: "No!" Susan: "I mean it. We'll put your head under the blanket." Bogeyman: "No!" Susan: "It's got fluffy bunnies on it...." Bogeyman: "No!" Susan: "Off you go then." Bogeyman: "S'not right. You're not s'posed to see us if you ain't dead or magic.... S'not fair...." Susan: "Try number nineteen. The governess there doesn't believe in bogeymen." Bogeyman: "Right?" Susan: "She believes in algebra though." Bogeyman: "Ah. Nice. I'll be off then. Er. Happy Hogswatch." Susan: "Possibly." Gawain: "That wasn't as much fun as the one last month. You know, when you kicked him in the trousers-" Susan: "Just you two get to sleep now."
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Post by Zerolus on May 22, 2011 23:06:34 GMT
Wynne: "Alistair. What's. This?" Alistair: "It's... a sock?" Wynne: "It's a filthy sock! With your name-tag on it! How did it end up in my bedroll?!" Alistair: "Maybe it likes you? Snocks are sneaky like that."
The Warden: "I've never seen a qunari before. Tell me about your people." Sten: "No." The Warden: "Please?" Sten: "People are not simple. They cannot be summarized for easy reference in the manner of "The elves are alive, pointy-eared people who excel at poverty." The Warden: "A little hostile, aren't we?" Sten: "Many humans have told me this. I do not understand it. If I were indeed hostile you would be bleeding." The Warden: "So this is you being calm and helpful?" Sten: "Couldn't you tell?"
Zevran: "You know, I have heard stories about your Circle of the Magi, my dear Wynne." Wynne: "Is that so." Zevran: "There is a Circle in my country, of course, but perhaps things are different here. I visited the Antivan Circle on official Crow business, once. Met a beautiful young apprentice who was very eager for a taste of the outside world..." Wynne: "Please! Please, get to the point." Zevran: "All I wonder is whether the Templars guard the Mages here as closely as they do in Antiva. In Antiva, the Templars watch the Circle like a jealous husband guarding the chastity of a wanton bride." Wynne: "Interesting metaphor, but yes, it is not too different in Ferelden." Zevran: "And is it also true that when the moon swells to fullness, the Mages of the Circle gather at the top floor of their tower and, naked under the stars, make love to each other?" Wynne: "What? No! Maker's breath..." Zevran: "Oh. I found out recently that it was not true in Antiva and hoped that it would be in Ferelden. Alas."
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Post by Blizz on May 25, 2011 12:27:00 GMT
Naruto: "Your constant disassembly of dialogue is inferring with any rational plot development!" Luffy: "WHAT THE [censored] IS A PLOT?!" Naruto: "We must find out because you are a pirate and I am a ninja!" Luffy: "Aw yeah, let's do this thing!" Both: *charge up DBZ style* Luffy: *vomits up a knife on Lelouch* "Jenga!" Lelouch: "Why?!" Yami: "Oh, come on, quit being a sissy, Mary." Lelouch: "You don't know what this feels like!" Yami: *is stabbed with several more knives and unaffected* "King of Games." Joekage: "Honestly, I don't understand what in the Christ is going on here." Luffy: "It all started many moons ago, before the time of the internet." Naruto: "BULL[censored]! There has always been the internet!" Luffy: "SET ME OFF AGAIN! SEE WHAT HAPPENS!" [beat] Iruka: "I like One Piece-" Luffy: *vomits up a cat upon Iruka* "MITTENS, NOW!" Mittens: *glows and charges into Iruka, blowing his face off* Joekage: "You're alright, Luffy." Luffy: "You, uh, want I should vomit something up on jumpsuit over here?" Joekage: "No, no, no. But there is something else I wanted to talk to you about." Luffy: "If it's about bridges forget it. I dig canals." Joekage: "What's your endgame? Nothing you do makes sense." Luffy: "Sense is like cheesecake!"
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infamatt
Boomer
Working Hard/Hardly Working
Posts: 56
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Post by infamatt on May 25, 2011 17:09:51 GMT
PROF. FARNSWORTH: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
GLURMO: Why, those are the 'Grunka-Lunkas'. They work here in the Slurm factory.
PROF. FARNSWORTH: Tell them I hate them.
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Post by ShayMay on May 30, 2011 0:00:42 GMT
"Unfortunately, my birthday has always been the lousiest day of the year. It all began... on the day of my actual birth! Both of my parents failed to show up." ~ Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
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Post by The Shad on Jun 9, 2011 23:29:05 GMT
Ms. Garrison: In the beginning we were all fish, okay, swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live.
So retard fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its mutant fish hands, and it had butt-sex with a squirrel or something, and made this...retard frog-squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a monkey-fish-frog, and then this monkey-fish-frog had butt-sex with that monkey; that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and that made you.
So there you go.
You're the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt-sex with a fish-squirrel, congratulations!
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Post by Devo DrakeFox on Jun 10, 2011 8:47:01 GMT
Have some GLaDOS quotes.
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like "No way!" And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great!
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science Self Esteem Fund for Girls? It's true!
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come, either, because you don't have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: "Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned." That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that's funny, too.
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
That thing you burned up isn't important to me; it's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans... nice job breaking it, hero.
I think we can put our differences behind us... for science... you monster.
Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that "horrible person" thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
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Post by Beeth on Jun 10, 2011 8:55:42 GMT
Can I have another biscuit, please?
GLaDOS, Portal 2
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Post by Beeth on Jun 10, 2011 8:59:11 GMT
No, wait, sorry: Gladys, Portadown.
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Post by Blizz on Jun 12, 2011 19:03:25 GMT
Deadpool: "Snikt me! SNIKT ME!! SNIKT ME!!!!" Logan: "What the-?! Wilson, get offa me or so help me I'll-" Deadpool: "Yeah?! Yeah?! You'll what?! Show me my intestines? Hang my kidneys around my neck like fuzzy dice? Do it! Let's go!" Logan: "You're one sick puppy, Wilson. Crawl back to whatever rock you live under and die lonely. I'm here to meet an old friend, not to play footsies with a psychotic. Now back off, before I remember I owe you big for gutting me..." Deadpool: "Come on! Where's the crazed Canuck who would fight at the drop of a hat?! Can't you 'feel that savage side o' me burnin... The blood lust startin' ta boil-?'" Logan: "Get a life." Kitty: "Mister, you don't know how lucky you are that we need to be somewhere. If he did play your little game-" Deadpool: "You smug little- Speaking of games, you ever play Street Fighter?" Kitty: "As if-" Deadpool: "SHORYUKEN!" Logan: "KITTY!" *shlikt!* Deadpool: "Yay now is fighty time, fighty time, blood blood blood."
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Post by Devo DrakeFox on Jun 12, 2011 21:52:37 GMT
O.o What was that from?
Spencer: ...a new superior breed of humans, given birth by the Progenitor virus. The Wesker Children were entrusted with endless potential. Of them, only one survived... You. Wesker: Are you saying I was manufactured? Spencer: I was to become a GOD... *coughs* ...creating a new world with an advanced race of human beings. However, all was lost with Raccoon City. Despite that setback, your creation still holds great significance. Now my candle burns dimly... *coughs* It's ironic, isn't it? For one who has the right to be a god... to face his own mortality. *coughs* Wesker: The right to be a god. *impales Spencer through the heart* That right... is now mine.
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Post by Blizz on Jun 26, 2011 23:32:09 GMT
Sgt Byrd: "Sergeant Byrd, nine double-o six eight. Awaiting orders, sir." Spyro: "Uh.... I think you'll have to find your commanding officer for that. Hey, what are those things?" Sgt Byrd: "These are the latest military hardware. DBX9 rocket launchers. State of the art." Spyro: "So why didn't you use them to escape?" Sgt Byrd: "Be- uh- Because! Because I have limited ammo, and I wanted to conserve it. For THIS." *shoots Moneybags* "Say, where'd you come from? I thought dragons had all been dead for a thousand years or something." Spyro: "Well, the rumours of our extinction were kind of exaggerated. We just wanted a little peace and quiet." Sgt Byrd: "Well, if it's peace and quiet you want, you should stay clear of my homeworld for a bit. I reckon I'll be blowing up Rhynocs for weeks. Cheerio!"
Doctor: "What's happening?" Ganger Doctor: "One day, we will get back.... Yes.... One day.... AAAAGH! AAAAAGHI've reversed the polarity of the neutron flow!" Doctor: "The Flesh is struggling to cope with our past regenerations. Hold on!" Ganger Doctor: *pained gasping* "Would you like a jelly baby? .....Why...? Why?! WHYYYYYYY?!" Doctor: "Why? Why what?" Ganger Doctor: "Hello. I'm the Doctor- NO, LET IT GO, WE'VE- WE'VE MOVED ON!" Doctor: "Hold on, hold on, you can stay with us!" Ganger Doctor: "I've reversed the jelly baby of the neutron flow... I'm the would you like a.... Doctor...."
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Post by The Shad on Jun 27, 2011 15:48:38 GMT
Gordon: *over intercom* Good morning, South Park Elementary. These are the morning announcements. Parent-teacher conferences begin next Thursday. If you have not yet done so, please turn in your parents' requested time sheets by the end of fifth period today. Lunch today will be a choice of chicken tostadas or spaghetti with a marninara sauce and side salad. Attention fourth graders: the fall registration for Glee Club starts tomorrow. Any interested students should fill out a *door kicked in* Whoa, what's going on?!
Intruder: I'll kill you! I swear to God I'll kill you!
Gordon: Who are you?!
Intruder: I'm the man who's gonna put a bullet between your eyes!
Gordon: Hey! He's got a gun!
Intruder: You little [censored]! You [censored]ed my wife! You think I wouldn't find out?!
Gordon: Sir, please, I don't know you.
Intruder: Yeah, right!
*man intervenes*
Man: All right, what the hell is going on around here? You, sir, need to leave this area. *BLAM!* *BLAM!*
Gordon: Oh God, he shot him!
Intruder: You had to push me, didn't ya?! Now, you!
Gordon: *screaming in terror* Sir, I clearly don't know-- *hits* *screams*
Intruder: There! How's it feel, huh?!
Gordon: Please! I don't know you!
Intruder: You're Gordon Saltski, right?! Truck driver from Chicago?!
Gordon: No, I'm Gordon Stoltski, third grader who reads the morning announcements!
Intruder: Yeah, right! We'll see if that's true. Go on, read the morning announcements!
Gordon: Somebody help me!
Intruder: I said do it! *hits Gordon*
Gordon: *crying* Any interested students should fill out an application survey-- *more hits and screams*
Intruder: I knew you were lyin'! That was terrible! Now put your mouth over the barrel of this gun!
Gordon: No, please! I'm so scared! I'm so scared!
Intruder: Do it!
Gordon: Please! I'll do whatever you say! Here! Here I see! Here! *talks muffled* *BLAM!* *thud*
Intruder: Look at you now. We're all dead. *BLAM!*
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Post by Blizz on Jun 30, 2011 23:28:53 GMT
Deadpool: "Logan, we missed you! And Weapon X just hasn't been the same without you. Nobody calls me 'bub' anymore! And Omega Red's a bed-wetter!" Omega Red: "One day I will tear out your flippant tongue, Wilson..." Deadpool: "He's very ashamed." Professor: "Despite Deadpool's idiocy, Weapon X is indeed pleased to have you back, Logan. We've put considerable time and money into you." Deadpool: "And pointy things!"
Deadpool: "Whaddaya say after the mission, we kill all these floating babies?" Omega Red: "Do you ever shut up, Wilson?!" Deadpool: "What? Babies creep me out! Rock-a-bye-BANG!"
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Post by Zerolus on Jul 1, 2011 22:25:11 GMT
Nail: *Hits Freeza on the neck* Freeza: "Oh. I'm sorry. I wasn't aware we were starting. Here. Allow me." *Rips off Nail's arm* "Looks like someone's going to be missing this." Nail: "No, not really." *Regenerates* Freeza: "Ooh, that looks like it hurts a lot. Are you okay?" Nail: "I'm fine!" Freeza: "Good to know. Yoink!" *Rips off Nail's arm again.*
Vegeta: "So what are you doing?!" Gohan: "What am I doing?" Vegeta: "What are doing?!" Gohan: "Nothing much." Vegeta: "Foiling my plans!?" Gohan: "Foiling your plans?" Vegeta: "Are you!?" Gohan: "...Yes." Vegeta: "... I'M GONNA [censored]ING KILL YOU!"
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