Post by Robert Frazer on Aug 9, 2004 17:07:50 GMT
I comprehend that I possess an oft-demonstrated repute for festooning my posts with incomprehensible and thoroughly superfluous reams of verbosity that frequently tends to infuriate and exasperate other forumers and consequently isolate my person from the remainder of our jocularly-bantering community.
However, recently I was absolutely riven with intense psychological grief and anguish by a mournful, harrowing, dreadful and genuinely tragic episode recounted to me by a thoroughly reliable witness whom my person invests confirmedly absolute and infallible trust in. The constituent events that amalgamated to form this dire, appalling, and sombre tale expressed such a severe message that I consider myself obliged to expand its scope for more to hear and be cautioned by. Thus, for this sole post, I shall relinquish the immediacy of my communication for the more abstracted and distant third-person:
In a period of time not so far detached from our present epoch, a certain boy was rousing himself from his slumbers and extricating his person from the bedsheets that entangled him in his chamber at his home.
As he donned his garments, he pondered and deliberated over what actions he would engage upon to occupy the forthcoming day and evening. After some contemplation of this most immensely important of concerns (as this young adult was of such a temperament as to loathe and abhorr listless moping), inspiration suddenly flared in his mind with this expression: Over the past few weeks the only games that I have deigned to play extensively have been M.D.K. II and Beneath a Steel Sky. They are excellent titles, certainly, but for the sake of variety and novelty I should expand my present gaming horizons. What title can I fixate upon to fulfil this resolution? A good friend of mine has for some time been badgering, haranguing, and harassing me to indulge in Unreal Tournament 2004, and considering that I have neglected him as of late, perhaps I can restore relations by acceeding to his wishes!
That afternoon, the boy determinedly readied himself to execute the tenets of this grand ambition. Although he was an exceedingly-pronounced miser who reviled and was nauseated by the prospect of expending money, he willingly conducted the onerous, arduous and aggravating sacrifice of withdrawing forty pounds from his bank account, and equipped with such fearsome commercial armaments, he proceeded to march into his local town centre, and sally forth into the area's PC World.
Browsing the shelves of the aforementioned establishment for some time, without securing success, the maturing teenager became substantially dejected and was about to abandon his endeavour when suddenly, in his peripheral vision, he espied his prize: Unreal Tournament 2004. Promptly darting over to its location, he grasped the game's box from its shelf, and then just as rapidly cast it down as if the case had scalded him.
"£39.99?!" our protagonist cried in dismay, reeling and staggering from the appalling enormity of the exhorbitant price. His morale crushed by such a terrible blow, he was about to slink forlornly back to his home, defeated and exhausted, when he noticed the subtitle: 'FOR MACINTOSH'
The seventeen-year-old exhaled an immense sigh of relief, and, his spirits restored, briefly murmered a malevolently superior chuckle at the suffering and expense the foul disciples of the despicable non-conformists of Apple and Linux were obliged to endure for their pathetic and heretical creeds before accosting an attendant and politely requesting whether the store stocked any Windows versions of the game. He was duly handed a copy, and with a leap of joy he recognised that it had been reduced in price! Clutching the elusive game eagerly, our subject roved his eyes over its art, until suddenly they collided with the careening, hurtling stone of the note in the upper-left corner of the cover: 'P.C. DVD-ROM'
Thwarted again! The boy's PC was bereft of a DVD-Player of any fashion, and he was certainly unable to afford a new one. Internally fuming, cursing, and smouldering, he turned to another attendant and inquired as to whether any CD-based copies of Unreal Tournament 2004 were available. The negative was confirmed, and it was a statement ratified in several other retail institutions, including and GameStation. Woolworths and, astoundingly, GAME, did not even possess any copies available!
The subject's reaction when he gazed over the game's 'system requirements' box is not suitable for printing on a forum where under-eighteens are present.
And the moral of this sad tale, my friends? I absolutely despise computer obsolescence.
However, recently I was absolutely riven with intense psychological grief and anguish by a mournful, harrowing, dreadful and genuinely tragic episode recounted to me by a thoroughly reliable witness whom my person invests confirmedly absolute and infallible trust in. The constituent events that amalgamated to form this dire, appalling, and sombre tale expressed such a severe message that I consider myself obliged to expand its scope for more to hear and be cautioned by. Thus, for this sole post, I shall relinquish the immediacy of my communication for the more abstracted and distant third-person:
In a period of time not so far detached from our present epoch, a certain boy was rousing himself from his slumbers and extricating his person from the bedsheets that entangled him in his chamber at his home.
As he donned his garments, he pondered and deliberated over what actions he would engage upon to occupy the forthcoming day and evening. After some contemplation of this most immensely important of concerns (as this young adult was of such a temperament as to loathe and abhorr listless moping), inspiration suddenly flared in his mind with this expression: Over the past few weeks the only games that I have deigned to play extensively have been M.D.K. II and Beneath a Steel Sky. They are excellent titles, certainly, but for the sake of variety and novelty I should expand my present gaming horizons. What title can I fixate upon to fulfil this resolution? A good friend of mine has for some time been badgering, haranguing, and harassing me to indulge in Unreal Tournament 2004, and considering that I have neglected him as of late, perhaps I can restore relations by acceeding to his wishes!
That afternoon, the boy determinedly readied himself to execute the tenets of this grand ambition. Although he was an exceedingly-pronounced miser who reviled and was nauseated by the prospect of expending money, he willingly conducted the onerous, arduous and aggravating sacrifice of withdrawing forty pounds from his bank account, and equipped with such fearsome commercial armaments, he proceeded to march into his local town centre, and sally forth into the area's PC World.
Browsing the shelves of the aforementioned establishment for some time, without securing success, the maturing teenager became substantially dejected and was about to abandon his endeavour when suddenly, in his peripheral vision, he espied his prize: Unreal Tournament 2004. Promptly darting over to its location, he grasped the game's box from its shelf, and then just as rapidly cast it down as if the case had scalded him.
"£39.99?!" our protagonist cried in dismay, reeling and staggering from the appalling enormity of the exhorbitant price. His morale crushed by such a terrible blow, he was about to slink forlornly back to his home, defeated and exhausted, when he noticed the subtitle: 'FOR MACINTOSH'
The seventeen-year-old exhaled an immense sigh of relief, and, his spirits restored, briefly murmered a malevolently superior chuckle at the suffering and expense the foul disciples of the despicable non-conformists of Apple and Linux were obliged to endure for their pathetic and heretical creeds before accosting an attendant and politely requesting whether the store stocked any Windows versions of the game. He was duly handed a copy, and with a leap of joy he recognised that it had been reduced in price! Clutching the elusive game eagerly, our subject roved his eyes over its art, until suddenly they collided with the careening, hurtling stone of the note in the upper-left corner of the cover: 'P.C. DVD-ROM'
Thwarted again! The boy's PC was bereft of a DVD-Player of any fashion, and he was certainly unable to afford a new one. Internally fuming, cursing, and smouldering, he turned to another attendant and inquired as to whether any CD-based copies of Unreal Tournament 2004 were available. The negative was confirmed, and it was a statement ratified in several other retail institutions, including and GameStation. Woolworths and, astoundingly, GAME, did not even possess any copies available!
The subject's reaction when he gazed over the game's 'system requirements' box is not suitable for printing on a forum where under-eighteens are present.
And the moral of this sad tale, my friends? I absolutely despise computer obsolescence.
I kinda like your posts, theyre so expressive and never contain the word "W00T"! Its good to see a guy who cares more about what he writes than his post count!! ;DWhat do you do btw?
