Post by Knuckles on Oct 29, 2008 21:58:09 GMT
Tonight was the National Television Awards on ITV. Which is the British equivalent of the Emmy's and just proves the US do everything better. It reminds me of what someone said about the Special Olympics. Even if you win, it's still retarded.
Tasteless jokes aside, it was hosted by Sir Trevor McDonald who is really Britain's only respectable man.
The first one I tuned into was Matt Littler's award for some actually good acting and I have to admit he accepted his award graciously enough.
Most Popular Comedy Series which started of with Nicolette Sheridan telling us how good British humor is went to Benidorm which I hadn't heard off till now. It beat of Ugly Betty which again proves that British people are idiots. The only funny show nominated and isn't even British was beaten by a show no one watched.
Top Gear won Best Factual Programme and accepted the award by having an attention seeking man in a motorcycle helmet accept the award instead of the presenters. They made Rhys Evans read out the acceptance speech? Never heard of him till now.
Most Popular Entertainer Presenter read more like my list of people I want shot. Ant and Dec, Alan Carr and Justin Lee Collins. Ant and Dec won and went up and Ant arrogantly looked at the makeshift award with candy inside and said "is this really it? Oh God".
Doctor Who won Most Popular Drama and in the absence of David Tenant Caterine Tate accepted the award... While Doctor Who definitely deserved to win having Catherine Tate accept the award cheapens it a little no? The other nominations were Desperate Housewives, The Bill and Shameless by the way. No contest.
Nominated For Outstanding Drama Performance - Catherine Tate was the first one I wanted to throw up at. Remember her? The lass who did "Bovvered" in front of the Queen? Giving her an award kinda reminds me of what someone said about the Special Olympics...
It was presented by the actor who plays Sylar in a proper sci fi show called Heroes and the clip shown pwns anything British Drama has done in 50 years and laughs in the face of whoever wins, Zachary then makes a pun about Heroes by saying it was an honour to be nominated even though they weren't. Heroes just gets the big awards.
He then reads out the nominations and we are shown a laughable clip from the Bill of an actor holding a gun that looks pathetic after we see Sylar being shot.
Next up is Catherine Tate. I've already said my bit on this, her clip just backs me up...
Philip Glenister next who I haven't heard of but his clip looks cool. His tough guy routine is still outshadowed by Noah shooting Sylar though...
David Tenant won but is playing Hamlet, and at the interval they showed him thanking everyone graciously. Notice how I haven't slagged him yet. And he gives away a huge plot twist by saying he will not be returning as the Doctor in 2010. Well played Tenant. Still preferred Ecclestone but at least Tenant is a gracious guy and seemed down to earth in his acceptance speech.
Paris Hilton presenting an award!!! What the [censored]! Now it is the Special Olympics. [censored] sake. Lowest of the low. She comes across better than usual, that is to say she dosen't have a nip slip. I can only think she was asked to present "Best Talent Show" as a cruel ironic joke.
Britiain's Got Talent is the first show mentioned and a clip of Piers Morgan makes my blood pressure rise. Why is he not in jail? If I doctored clips of Iraqi soldiered being tortured would I be a celebrity?
X Factor and Dancing on Ice are also mentioned. God I hate that prick Simon Cowell though not as much as Piers Morgan and Paris Hilton. Morgan just more than Hilton though.
Strictly Come Dancing which I always saw as Dancing On Ice without the Ice is mentioned next. At least it's not Fame Academy.
Paris Hilton.... aggghhhhhhhh!!!! How do you go from Sylar to Paris Hilton?
The winner is "one of these four shows". She's a complete [censored]up!!!! She takes about five minutes to reveal the winner is Strictly Come Dancing. I'm glad it won but my happiness is dampened with anger at Paris Hilton's "it could be X Factor, it could be Strictly Come Dancing, It Could be Dancing on Ice..."
She then takes a long, deep breath I hoped would be our last before telling us to "wait for it..." and then finally revealed the winner. Agghh!
The acceptance speech talks about celebrities putting themselves through hell. Yeah, cos ballroom dancing is hard and grating. All you lazy emergency services take note...
And after Paris Hilton, we all need a break so they go to commercials and we get a chance to get our blood pressure back under control.
After the break, Andrew Lloyd Webber came on and talked about how arrogant and up his own ass he is, which raised my blood pressure again. And awarded Simon Cowell a trophy for something which prompted Piers Morgan to give a video acceptance speech. I really hate Simon Cowell for forcing talentless carbon copied singers on us, but I hate Piers Morgan more for becoming famous through being the editor of the Daily Record who made fraudulent pictures. Of American soldiers torturing Iraqi's. How is he not in jail? He's a smug [censored], and should be castrated.
Elton John also talks about him, and I kinda respect Elton but you know, I kinda have to wonder why Elton is talking about Cowell when he's publicly blasted him and his pointless talentless shows.
And back to Piers Morgan twice... how much more screen time is this self obsessed conceited criminal going to get? [censored]ing hell.
Elton John says the most intelligent thing of the night. Simon Cowell is a smart man who knows what people like to watch and makes money out of it. People love to hate him. I guess Simon Cowell has it all right and has the bank balance to prove it... You don't have to like him to know he's manipulated millions of people and they don't even know it.
Before I turn this into another anti Simon Cowell and X Factor rant I better wait till this is all done... Be back in five minutes when we move on to the next award.
The final award of the evening is for Outstanding Serial Drama. Or Soaps. So, who do you get present the award to Coronation Street or Eastenders? Jason Donovan. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrell. They could've at least got Kylie or Danni. What's the theme tonight? Smug nobodies?
The nominations were Hollyoaks, Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Eastenders and while Hollyoaks is the best one, Eastenders won. Surprise Surprise.
I turned off three seconds after so erm... I dunno who went to present it.
Sorry bout all that. Needed to rant.